M.D.N.A.

Turns out MDNA isn’t a bad album, it’s just very generic dance pop. But the very best of generic dance pop. The tracks are by a bunch of “hot” producers of the moment, plus collaborators (the new Madonna collaborates a lot) and some ABBA-esque moments. As a result, never has she sounded so contemporary and so ADD. This is a violent, rebellious, religiously dubious and expletive-filled album, but it’s also full of energy and juvenile fun that reinvigorates the queen (as Nicki Minaj calls her on “I don't give a".) Monster uplifting hits throughout.

Neither has she for a long time sounded so grating. There is a lot hard vocals on MDNA and the stretching of Madonna’s nasal proclivities to the max. She seems to yell most verses and her voice sounds as shrill as the songs she’s peddling. There are exceptions of course: "I fucked up" and "Falling free"are quite nice and her singing lessons really pay off.

She’s collaborated with William Orbit again, but there’s no "Ray of light" here, or even a “Substitute for love”. It’s a shame that (Madonna feels that) to stay relevant she needs to “youth-anize” her music and just party, party, party with the kids. After 53 years of being Madonna, it looks like she’s desperately trying to conserve her youth, even if it means devolving her music.

The video for "Girls gone wild" is Madonna at her most iconoclastic and disposable. The video is a collection of phases in the Madonna cannon; it starts with a prayer, it's mostly black and white, Madonna is in full big hair and makeup, it has vogueing, chains, slithering up and down walls and same-sex action with guys in Beyoncé pumps doing Beyoncé steps. What's not to like?